Friday, September 02, 2005 - a solid whack on the head

I have this bump on the back of my head from early 2001, I was living in a studio in Manhattan that was roughly the size of my current living room, only smaller, so my kitchen/living room/bedroom combo made for interesting times. I got up one night to go to the bathroom, slightly intoxicated, dark, the kitchen sink was right next to the bathroom and when I had washed dishes, the drying dishes had spilled water onto the wood floor.

I get up, half asleep and slip on the water, tried to catch myself on the bathroom door, which was closed... but not shut. The door opens, spilling me into the bathroom where I whacked my head incredibly hard on the cast iron bathtub. I must have blacked out for a minute, but I never turned on the lights, I went to the bathroom and went back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, with a splitting headache, I was shocked to see that my apartment was apparently the setting of a murder, as there was blood absolutely everywhere -- my blood was thin from the alcohol and also scalp wounds bled a lot. My bed was covered in blood, the floors, the bathroom, it was like something out of "Memento."

The worst part was that I was completely dumbfounded, like mentally deficiant, stupid even. I ran into a co worker on my way to work (yes, that dumb, I went to work) and was trying to explain to her that I had hit my head on something, but I couldn’t remember the word for “bathtub” which is when I realized I should have someone check on my head, but I couldn’t remember who (uh, doctor?) and knew I had a problem. It took me a few days to begin functioning at my normal IQ, which my friends found hilarious, but I was truthfully a little frightened.

I think of this time a lot, typically when I am confronted with someone behaving like such an utter idiot you wonder how they can possibly live with themselves. I have to remind myself that when you are dumb, you can’t find the words to describe things which should seem so obvious. Behavior has no recourse when you can't see how it figures into the rest of the world. Your actions, in a sense, won’t make sense, because the lack of brain capacity makes rational thought, reason and logic null and void.

Lately I’ve been feeling like the whole world, or at least a signficant number of people, have hit their heads on the proverbial bathtub. What kind of moron fires shots at a doctor trying to save someone’s life? How stupid do you have to be to turn away forgien aid when our own is unfortunatly sadly lacking? How is it possible that people are turning on each other instead of giving each a hand in a life or death situation?

My head hurts. So, actually, does my heart.

“Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul”